


For I am death

by Ischa



Series: Definition of destiny-Series [2]
Category: Heroes - Fandom, Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Multi, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-05
Updated: 2011-07-05
Packaged: 2017-10-21 02:05:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ischa/pseuds/Ischa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a character study of some sorts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For I am death

**Title:** For I am death  
 **Pairing:** Sylar/Peter /Damon  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Summary:** This is a character study of some sorts.  
 **Warning(s):** angst, spoilers up to Brave new world, vampires and it's a VD crossover.  
 **Author’s Notes:**  Interlude to [Sudden movements](http://archiveofourown.org/works/219681). Set right after. Quotes from 'O death' by Jen Titus.  
 **Word Count:** 1.089  
 **Beta:** asm_z  
  **Disclaimer:** Don’t know, don’t own, not real

\--+--  
~1: Who will have mercy on your soul?~

~+~  
Sometimes he just watches; sits down in a crowded café and watches. He watches the people outside hurrying by: children with dogs, men, women, wives, sisters, brothers. Loved ones. Hated ones. People with problems. People that fear him, without knowing that it is him they fear. Sometimes he reads and looks up when a stray thought penetrates his shields. They are stronger now that Damon is constantly around them. Constantly at their place, sitting on his couch, drinking coffee from his mug, using his favourite spoon. He puts the book aside and looks out of the window. It began to rain and he didn't notice. He was too far inside his own head.  
There is something inside him that itches, scratches inside his skull to let it out. Sylar suppresses it as good as he can. He presses his fingertips against the cold, hard surface of the table. The heat from his paper-cup full of coffee against his wrist is a contrast. Nothing feels really solid in those moments of need and madness. He recognises it for what it is. He is not stupid and even if he can control it, the hunger inside him, it's probably just a matter of time until he kills someone.  
He wanted to kill that vampire-thing they hunted a few weeks ago. He wanted it so much. He only didn't because Peter was there.  
Sylar knows that Damon wanted it as well. Something about all the blood on the ground...  
He closes his eyes briefly and just takes a deep breath. It doesn't really help. Still so many people around him. Needs, wishes, hopes, fears. He could hear them all if he wanted. He doesn't.

~+~  
There are things in the dark, things that want to kill you. Those things are sometimes grim and scary looking and sometimes beautiful and charming. Like a Venus fly-trap. Lovely to look at, but once it has you, you're dead. Damon doesn't think he is a Venus fly-trap, but he knows he is one of the shiny beautiful things that bring you the death when you're not careful. Dangerous and deadly; a predator. It's not his fault he looks like he does. The transformation from human to vampire didn't make him more handsome. It just made him more deadly.  
Sometimes he just sits down in a pub, a club, a café and watches. The people around him, pulsing and alive and it is torture on some nights (when he didn't drink because he was out with Peter and Sylar), but it's nothing he can't bear. Sometimes he plays. Plays at being human, plays at being normal – it never lasts long.  
The hunger inside him - and not only that – makes him want to rip things apart. Like he ripped out hearts from human bodies. Death is nothing he fears. Death is nothing unfamiliar to him. It's something he enjoys to some extend.  
Stefan never understood that. No one did, except maybe Katherine. And now...Sylar.

  
~2: Nothing satisfies me but your soul~

~+~  
There are things in his life he knows he doesn't really deserve, no matter what Peter says. He knows he doesn't deserve them. Living here, being free, just living in the first place. He knows that. And people don't get tired telling him that as well. Matt, Angela Petrelli, Claire, Bennet.  
If not for Peter he would've still been trapped in his own mind. Living in a prison he made himself. Not quite heaven, not quite hell. Something in between that wasn't life either.  
The only thing that grounds him in the here and now is Peter. How he rolls his eyes when Damon smokes in the living room, how he bitches them out for empty bottles on the bathroom floor, how he makes them pancakes when he has a late shift and Damon stayed over again.

~+~  
Damon knows that something is shifting, shifted already in his life, in his relationship to them. He stayed. He didn't kill them and he hadn’t even really tried...except that one time, but hey, that can totally be excused. He was...what the hell, he thinks, he doesn't have to excuse it. He doesn't have to excuse anything. He can do whatever he wants to. He’s Damon. He always does what he wants.  
Still. He can't really figure out why the hell he is practically living on Peter's couch. Why he plays a round of Guitar Hero for it with Sylar when he stays late. Maybe because they don't make him go home.

  
~3: I'll open the door to heaven or hell~

~+~  
Here is the thing he fears: He can't die. When you are a serial killer, you maybe fear hell or judgement day. When you're a serial killer and can't die, you don't need to think about such trivial things. They become insignificant. When you are a reformed serial killer who is living with someone, someone who can die, you see things from a new perspective.  
The thing Sylar fears now is to be alone again. It's easy to kill when you have no one. Because life doesn't matter, not yours, not anyone else's.  
Life becomes precious if you begin to share it with someone.  
This here: being with Peter, living in Peter's apartment, drinking his coffee, fighting with Damon for his favourite spoon. This is life and it scares him. This is heaven and it's hell.

~+~  
Damon doesn't fear anything except being alone. That's why he wanted to be with her, that's why he became a vampire. But there is also this side of him that is a ruthless killer and selfish like a child and no one can love someone like that for very long. Certainly not for centuries. Or forever, and forever is a really long time if you can't die.  
He can't die. Not if no one knows what he is. And here, here no one knows him. No one cares.  
If he should stay and the years would just pass Peter would die and he would be alone again. If he should make him a vampire Peter would hate him, he would hate it being a monster.  
So, being here, sleeping on the couch because Sylar lost, waking up to Peter bitching them out because he stumbled over bottles in the bathroom as he wanted to take a piss, it's some kind of hell. Imbedded in some kind of heaven, some kind of life that isn't really a lie.

~end~


End file.
